1/26/2011 - Well, Whaddya Know...

I've been stuck in jury duty for the past WEEK now and just got released yesterday. Praise Jesus! All that sitting around made me absolutely crazy, especially since I did not teach ONE of my 9 classes during the trial, so by the time I was let out I was a little...let's say...ambitious. I taught a kickboxing class on Monday night and went WAAAAY crazy. Big jumps, high kicks, high impact, the whole nine. After class I got home and realized my stomach (this was not at all my stomach but the exact region is somewhat hard to explain. It was in my gut, just above my pubic bone. That's right, I said pubic. Get over it people, we're all adults here and it's about to get a whole lot worse) hurt a bit. Not like hurt hurt, but felt really uncomfortable. Like someone had wrung it out. Sweet Husband chastised me, as usual, for going too big in class and encouraged me, for the 23rd time I believe, to just give up my kickboxing classes all together. Silly SH.
I went to bed Monday night and Tuesday woke up bright and early for another exciting day at court. Upon waking I noticed the feeling had not gone away, but gotten worse. Surely it's constipation, I thought. Then I visited the bathroom. Nope. *sigh* Now what? All day Tuesday the sensation remained and continued to get worse. By the time I went to bed Tuesday night I was sure I had somehow developed a very painful kink in my intestines and I would require major surgery. I was woken up around 3 am and stayed awake (after my 3 am pee, mind you) for over an hour convinced I would be giving birth to my 2 pound dead fetus at any moment. Good thing Captain Tuffy was sleeping nearby to assist in the process. Cats are notoriously good at labor and delivery (for themselves but let's not focus on details here). When I woke up Wednesday morning I walked to the gym where I proceeded to teach 2 hours of classes, both fairly low impact. During those classes, I felt fabulous. Cured! After, I realized the sensation was still there. Bummer. I called my doctor to hear her say "Oh! Yeah, that's *blank* and right around week 18 is when you'll experience that. No big deal, you're fine. See you in a few weeks!" But instead her nurse said "Oh. Yeah. You should come in. Today." Nuts.
So in I went. My doctor wasn't available to I went to the next available FEMALE doctor (I don't think this requires any more explaining on my part) who assured me it was probably some ligament pull/tear from jumping too much.
"Let's just take a look at the ultrasound to be sure." Goo on the stomach, machine fired up and away we go.
"Wow!! Your baby is a MOVER!"
"Yeah, people say that. I'm not sure if they're just supposed to be hanging out in there chillin', but I figure the more movement the more calor--"
"Oh. Uh oh."
"What, uh oh?" I said from my supine position, craning my neck so that my face was as far away from the monitor as possible lest I see a penis or labia.
"Well, a few things. Looks like all that jumping around you've been doing has placed your baby into breech position. And the placenta is in front, which we don't want."
Now, I like to consider myself a fairly calm pregnant woman. I mean, sure I thought my baby was dead a few weeks ago, but did I go racing into the doctor's office? No. Last night I thought the baby was coming out but did I wake up SH or call 911? No. So I said,
"Well, that's okay, right? I mean, it's got plenty of time to flip itself around. It's only January!"
She looked at me for a long time trying to decide if I was making a joke or being flippant. When she gave up she said,
"Um. Well, you do have a while but the position of the placenta (see? I told you the words got worse) is not what we want to see at 4 1/2 months, nor is the position of the baby. And all the movement that's going on with the baby--see, look"
I saw two legs scrunched up against a little tiny body. One of the legs seemed to be keeping time to my heart beat and was kicking straight down into a grey mass.
"That's your cervix the baby is kicking. That's why you're feeling the discomfort. Does it feel like when you get a pap smear (Super gross! I thought of omitting this but my male followers are limited)?"
"Yeah, exactly like that!"
"Well, that's what it is. It's hammering your cervix. And until it flips the other way, there's nothing we can do about it. It's good the baby is so active! In the meantime, you need to ease up on the kickboxing and take a few days to rest. Next time you come in let's hope it's flipped back around."
Now, here is what I'm thinking. What if it DOESN'T!? I mean, sure, I can get over the initial shock of having to go through a C-section (that way SH certainly CAN be in the room! How happy he will be!), but if it hurts now and the things leg is the size of a toothpick, how in the HELL is this going to feel in 4 more months???? Oh man.
Well, I sure am glad I enjoyed those few weeks of silence because this little fetus is loud and proud now.
*sigh*
5 months and counting.
Oh, here's a picture for everyone. I appreciate the request for jug pictures. Those will be coming soon. Promise.