Monday, May 9, 2011

5/9/2011 - The Last Word

I feel like I've talked about my distaste for breastfeeding my infant ad nauseam but over the past few weeks, a shit storm has rained down upon me and I'm going to rant one last time before I let it go forever (I hope).
People, listen. You can feed whomever you want with your boobs. I'm not trying to make a law banning breastfeeding. I'm not judging you for sticking your nipple into your infants mouth. This is a personal choice and it does not make you a better person or mother than me. Much like women who choose to have a C-section or women who choose to have an epidural are not any less "motherly" than those who do it without drugs in a birthing tub in a shed in the back of their house. It is a personal choice. Those babies aren't any stronger, more beautiful, healthier or better off than the babies who came out an incision in the stomach.
Say anything you want about breast milk, and people do. It cures diseases. It's "best" for the baby. It'll help you lose weight. WHATEVER. I don't want to fucking do it and I am not going to feel any guilt about mixin' up some formula and handing it over.
In fact, in January a study was done regarding the nutritional benefits of breast milk versus modern formulas and the results came back the SAME. One was not better than the other.
I have countless friends and family members that even say "I breast fed my baby and my friend bottle fed. My baby was sick ALL the time and her baby was totally fine."
Now, believe the study or don't, HERE is my gripe.
Riding me for choosing not to breast feed is a waste of fucking time. Know why? Because it doesn't affect you in the least! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Me giving my child breast milk or formula won't affect you AT ALL. You can still sleep a full night and go out with your friends. You won't be kicked out of your house or have your car repossessed. Your life will go right on ticking. My choice won't change anything you do.
If people are so concerned with the health of other people's babies, why don't we go after unhealthy pregnant women? The house that my little fetus is getting to develop in is FABULOUS. I eat roughly 90 grams of protein a day, loads of fiber and tons of fruits and vegetables. I drink at least 64 oz of water a day if not more. I don't smoke or live with anyone who does. I don't eat fast food. I exercise 8-10 hours a week at the gym and walk the dog another 2-3 hours a week. 99% of my meals are consumed at home, made by me and in 33 weeks, I've gained 14 pounds. Now, compare me to the fat, unhealthy, sloth-like pregnant women I see everywhere. Women who use their pregnancy to eat whatever the fuck they want and lay around on their expanding asses. Women who smoke and act like it's 100% their right? Now, when THOSE women decide to breast feed whatever disgusting junk they put into their body to their babies, they are held high in society as doing what is BEST for their infant! But mention to her that maybe she should be doing a little better job helping her fetus grow? OH NO!  That is completely taboo! Who do we think WE are judging someone for not working out or eating a balanced meal? It's just none of our business.
That's right! And neither is this.
Back off, boob freaks! You're gonna get yourself punched.
*pant pant*
There. Done.


  1. That was a great rant! What flow. It was like a profanity laced haiku poem from a crazy person. I loved it. You could pretty much replace "breast feeding" with homosexual, listening to loud music, or playing hopscotch and it would be perfect. Rock on Sister. I love you!

  2. Holy crap...I would have never thought that "Andy" was my brother...perfect spelling, sentences with correct grammer, punctuation in the right place...nicely played Anj, nicely played!!